Remember Thursday when I came home from the performance feeling absolutely ecstatic? Well, here I am on the morning after the final performance and I'm so terribly sad. Last night was the weirdest thing. I mean, some of it was happy and fun like Nick playing piano in the hall at Trinity with Richard singing along [Richard has an immensely sexy singing voice- mmm, all strong and low] and Rhemayo playing tambourine, and all of a sudden Rhemayo leaps out from behind the piano and bangs the tambourine right in my face. Scared the shit out of me.
But anyway. The performance was going just as great as last night- word perfect and all the right entrance cues. But then we got to the second-to-last scene where Richard is trying to explain to Ollie that he's worthless, and I looked at Ollie and he was crying. One look and I was off. I started crying and couldn't stop. When I was putting my black coat on for the funeral scene, I had my face away from the audience, and I caught sight of Richard, also crying, and I actually broke down into tears for a few seconds onstage. I managed to compose myself for the funeral scene and didn't bust into tears until I had to. My words broke and turned into anguished cries just at the right moment. I couldn't have held it all in anymore. My spotlight faded and Richard and I walked offstage for the last time. As I was leaving the stage, I began to cry again, and while I was waiting to come on for my bow, I buried my face in Richard's shirt and sobbed with complete abandon. The bows were amazing, I mean, better than last night. Dick, Piggot, me and Ollie all got the most amazing applause. I came on for my bow and I was still crying, but when I heard everyone clapping and cheering, I started to smile.
Afterwards, I went on a wild goose chase backstage looking for Oliver, and couldn't find him. I'd put all my costume away and helped strike the set, so really I was allowed to do nothing of any value to the production. He wasn't anywhere behind the set or in the costume department, but Miss Smith said he was probably outside with his mum [I don't know how she knew that] and he was. I went outside and he was just about to come through the door and we both stopped and had a big, long hug and kiss on the cheek and said "thanks for everything" and all that. I went back to the dressing room and got my stuff together and prepared to leave again, and just at that moment, Ollie was leaving [ie, leaving the premises, ie, the last time I'd ever see him] and we had yet another goodbye hug and he said "What am I going to do without you, Linda?".
And from that point on, I've felt very sad. I was cheered up slightly by the party at Josh and Imogen Sanders' house- the backstage crew and minimal cast playing strip poker, culminating in Haris, Josh Bradshaw and Luke running down the road in their boxers.
I never did tell Ollie I like him. *Shrugs* I might get Ellie's boyfriend Louis to pass that message on at school. Oh well. It's all finished now. It was beautiful while it lasted.
Saturday: Went to school fair and left swiftly. Watched a documentary on Arthur Miller that I'd recorded from earlier in the week. Went to bass lesson. Played a bit of Talking Heads and Pixies.
Sunday: Rehearsed all day. It was meant to be 6 hours but it turned out to be 7 because Miss Smith let it overrun. The scene before the Requiem was a complete shambles and Stupid Miss Smith [trademark] had a go at us for not knowing our lines, when really we'd know them better if she'd called a rehearsal for it instead of CANCELLING it at the last minute. God, she's a twat sometimes. On the upside, I did meet the most adorable guy while offstage- he's in our year at Trinity and he's called Dominic. Me, him, Matt and little Charlie sat down the side of the seats and talked for a while. I managed to stun the room into silence again with my Requiem speech, which was pleasing.
Monday: Had a day off school today, so Alice and I got the train to London and went for a stroll round the West End. I got some pretty cool stuff- a Giles Pearson earring that's a chain with the word "LOVE" dangling off it made of foam, a silver swallow necklace from UcciCucci and a pair of Paul Smith multicoloured stripe print hi-top trainers. I went back to Trinity for 4 o'clock and arrived early so I went and found Adam in the music studio and we had a nice little chat. He's sad again and I don't like it. I understand what's making him sad, but I just want him to be happy. We rehearsed for a bit on the stage in Big School [ridiculous name, I know.] and then Dick, Piggy and I briefly listened to Adam's band and then Dick and I got the bus to East Croydon. So, all in all, it's not been too bad.
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Arrrgh.... I've just come back from an audition for Death Of A Salesman. It went very well, it must be said. I read the part of Girl In Bar, and they liked me so I got to read Linda as well. I read this loooong, emotional monologue about how wonderful my husband is and how he's worked so hard throughout his life. I could hear the drama teachers who were casting it saying "excellent" and stuff. Ack. I'm so desperate for this part....
I was in the Office sale shop on St. Martin's Lane in London today when my phone rings, and lo and behold, it's "Adam Home". What does he want? I ask myself. I pick up, and there he is, all polite sounding and inquisitive: "Hey, Bethany, would you be interested in seeing Kings of Leon in December?" Would I heck? Of course I would, Adam, you fool. Especially with you. So, in short, today's news is that Alice, Pete, Adam and I are going to see Kings of Leon on 13th December at Brixton Academy.
Mwahaha. I'm back from Turkey. A fantastic holiday. You know I've got this habit of always liking people who don't actually give a toss about me? Well, I've finally broken that. Here's a little love story for my little pumpkins out there.